


The Same, You and I

by commas_and_ampersands



Category: Bishoujo Senshi Sailor Moon | Pretty Guardian Sailor Moon, Bishoujo Senshi Sailor Moon | Pretty Guardian Sailor Moon (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Can Be Pre-Venus/Kunzite But Doesn't Have to Be, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Past Kunzite/Zoisite, Sailor Moon S, They're Always Going to Be 8 Shades of Intense When They Interact
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-02
Updated: 2017-12-02
Packaged: 2019-02-01 07:57:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,200
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12700674
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/commas_and_ampersands/pseuds/commas_and_ampersands
Summary: Kunzite and Minako have a confrontation after her pure heart crystal is taken.





	The Same, You and I

**Author's Note:**

> Written May 2010; revised December 2017.
> 
> Basically, in this version of events, Kunzite is healed rather than killed at the end of the first season of Sailor Moon, so he's been hanging around being a semi-reformed kind of well-meaning jerkass ever since.

Things hadn't gone exactly according to Minako's plan.

Admittedly, there hadn't been much of a plan beyond 'get noticed by bad guys' and 'get attacked by bad guys.'  On that front, Minako had been wildly successful.  But she'd definitely never meant to follow up Eudial's initial attack with 'run around with heart crystal hanging out of your chest for six blocks.'  Or 'pass out in filthy parking garage.'  And she certainly hadn't counted on inadvertently exposing Haruka and Michiru as Sailors Uranus and Neptune.  
  
That stung.  Two new soldiers start making trouble at the exact same time two mysterious upperclassman cross their paths.  She should have figured it out months ago.  Thankfully, Michiru and Haruka seemed just as stunned by the other senshi's identities, so Minako didn't have to deal with their smug superiority over that at least.  Over everything else, yes, but whatever identity preserving magic existed between them worked both ways.  She'd take it.  
  
The current atmosphere, however, she could leave.  They were all heading back to the shrine to meet Mamoru, Chibi-Usa, and the cats for a debrief.  And, Minako had no doubt, for an hour long lecture.

Well, it would only be an hour long if she managed to stumble on some luck obviously meant for someone else.  If her complete lack of good fortune held, Kunzite would be there, too.  Then the lecture would last the rest of her natural life.  The man had made silent brooding into an art form, but give him a chance to tell Minako how wrong and bad she was at everything, and he'd come armed with a screed.

And that might still be preferable to the charged silence directed at her now.

Usagi walked arm-in-arm with her, holding her up more often than not, a little humiliating but mostly fine.  Rei stalked at the head of the pack, stopping every few feet to scowl.  Clearly, she longed to say something but chose to wait until she could let loose without being overheard by civilians.  Or, as Minako suspected, Rei liked the way her voice echoed at the shrine when she shouted at full volume.  Ami had been muttering (just loud enough for Minako to hear but softly enough to make it clear she wasn't engaging) nonstop about the dangers of purposefully destroying one’s health for the past few blocks.  And Makoto cracked her knuckles over and over again.  She always did that when she wanted to hit something, but for whatever reason, was not allowed to hit something.  
  
When they reached the steps on Sendai Hill, Minako brought their party to a halt.  She opened her mouth to tell Makoto just to get it over with and punch her already, provided she then carried Minako up the millions of steps to the shrine proper.  And Minako was so focused on offering Makoto this deal, that she didn't even notice Kunzite until he grabbed her wrist, pulled her from Usagi's grasp, and teleported them to parts unknown.  
  
Kunzite had little patience for her on a good day.  Apparently, painting a giant target on her back to prove a point made this a not-good day.  One might even say a bad day.  So Minako's bad luck had held, Kunzite had a scathing monologue prepared, and the others weren't going to be around to run interference.

Fantastic.  
  
“What the hell is the matter with you?” Kunzite snarled – actually  _snarled_  - then pushed her away like a criminal.  
  
Minako stumbled, grabbing on to a nearby chair to keep from falling, and took a moment to take in her surroundings.  She’d never been in Kunzite’s apartment, but that’s obviously where he pulled them.  Who else would based their entire decorating scheme on Gray: A Study in Variation?  She steadied herself, smiled in that flippant way she knows he can't stand, and said, "Well, there is this dry patch of skin on my left elbow I can't seem to get rid of, but I have this sneaking suspicion that's not what you mean."  
  
Kunzite glared at her, and she almost regretted the joke.  She was who she was, so there was no other acceptable response.  But the look in his eyes was no less cold, no less furious then the days following Zoisite's death.  He'd damned them all - damned the world - with those eyes.  There had been moments in battles where he would focus that hatred squarely on her, and she had been afraid.  She'd kept waiting for him to destroy them all in his grief, but he hadn't, and... that had led to him standing there with her in the first place.  The fact that he drew on that well of rage now left her feeling as though they'd gone back in time.

The Minako of seasons past, the Minako who still felt a step out of balance without a red mask on her face, would not have made a joke.  Of course, that Minako would not be standing here at all, with an uneasy accord and a thousand unspoken truths between them.  She supposed some Minako between past and present, between who she had been, who she was, and who she sometimes pretended to be, was expected to answer.

She didn't look away.  She didn't scowl; she didn't smile.  She just didn't look away when he wanted her to. 

The anger bled out of him.  He didn't soften because Kunzite lacked the ability to be anything but sharp and unforgiving, but it lessened.  Abated maybe.  She wondered if it would be back, to say nothing of why it had been there in the first place.  She still didn't look away.

“You could have been killed,” he snapped. “You practically did the job yourself giving all that blood.”  
  
Her vision swam, and it occurred to her she should probably sit down.  But if she couldn't look away from him, she definitely couldn't sit.  She was too tired for this shit.  “If you were so concerned, why didn’t you stop me?”  
  
He laughed, sounding just as exhausted as she felt. “As if I would have had any luck. More than likely I would have made you all the more determined.”  
  
“How did you even know?”  
  
“Who do you think gave Usagi the vitamins?”  
  
The obvious answer was Ami, but if Kunzite was involved, she reached for the less obvious one.  “Mamoru.”  
  
And if Mamoru knew, Kunzite knew.  Of course.  They were friends.

Once the pair of them had been on the same side, free of Beryl's influence, and with all their memories intact, they'd been friends.  Most days, Minako found this hilarious considering how they'd been at each other's throats in the Dark Kingdom.  Some days, when she thought about things too clearly, delved too deep, it seemed natural.  They were the last two survivors of Queen Beryl's court.  Neither one of them would talk about what went on there, and even if they did, Minako would be the last person they turned to.  She preferred it that way.  Regardless, the shared experience had left them in the occasionally uncomfortable (for her at least) position of being friends.  Minako had long since resigned herself to the fact that if Mamoru knew something, Kunzite would know it in short order.  
  
“Why did you do it?” he asked, his voice quiet and infinitely more dangerous for that softness.  “Why would you put yourself in that kind of danger?  Were you that dedicated to kill yourself?”

Later, she will blame blood loss and extreme fatigue on the fact that she answered, “I was the only one whose pure heart hadn’t been taken.”  She blinked.  "Wait, I didn't mean to say that.  Can you forget I said that?"

Kunzite gaped at her.  She'd managed to genuinely shock him.  It would be satisfying if it weren't so embarrassing.  “So you thought you weren’t…?”

"You're not going to forget I said that, are you?  Damn it."

He laughed.  Pitying.  He pitied her.  She wanted to be sick or slap him.  If she could have seen straight, she might have tried both at the same time.  “How could you think that?”

There was a saying about pennies and pounds she'd happily mangle under other circumstances.  Now Minako didn't even feel up to that.  She leaned more heavily on the chair holding her up and finally gave herself permission to duck her head.  Averting her eyes damned her far less than crying in front of Kunzite.  “What was I supposed to think?  I’m not like the others.  I’ve given up on things; I ran away from London.  And while I was there....”

They never discussed their shared past in London.  If they talked about London, they would have to talk about--  
  
“You saved me.”

That.  
  
She shuddered.  "We don't talk about that."

"Maybe it's time we did."

"It's not.  Trust me, I'd tell you if it was time, because the world would be ending.  As in, 'the asteroid is going to hit us in .003 seconds,' ending.  The world is not ending, so it's not time to talk about this, so just stop it."

"You’re the only one who saw," he said.

"No."  She wished she could cover her ears and block him out, but she couldn't risk letting go of the chair and collapsing.  "Stop it."

"You were the only one who didn’t believe me when I said I would never shout refresh.”

She can't make him shut up, but she can make him pay for starting this.  "You were better than you were acting.  A much more efficient killer."  
  
In her mind's eye, he staggered as if her words were a physical blow, but in reality, he barely flinched.  He just kept talking, and she kept shaking as the tenuous balance they'd walked came undone.  “You’re the one who grabbed Sailor Moon before she sent that boomerang back at me,” he said. “You were hurt.  You were all hurt, and I'm the one who hurt you."

"God, would you shut up?"  Her vision spotted and no amount of shaking her head seemed to clear it.

"You could have let me die.  No one would have known the difference, and in your place, I wouldn't have thought twice about it."

"I said, shut up."  Dangerously close to begging; dangerously close to crying.  The world lurched, and she realized she was dangerously close to fainting as well.  She had to get out of there.

And Kunzite kept talking.  "You’re the one who made them all run from the Dark Kingdom.  You knew I would never turn as long as I was there.  You knew me, and I--”

"Shut up!" she shouted.  She covered her ears now and started backing out of the room.  If she can make it out of the apartment and get some air, if she could just get away from him....  
  
He strode forward like an unforgiving god and pulled her hands away.  He opened his mouth to continue, but her body finally gave out.  Her eyes rolled up in the back of her head, and she fell forward into his chest.  Her last thought before passing out was to register surprise that he caught her.  
  
She woke up again later to him flicking water on her face.  Then he coaxed – not ordered - her to drink it.  A moment later, Minako realized they were sitting on the floor and decided posturing in front of him wasn't necessary anymore.  She curled up on the floor and felt a surge of relief similar to the one she'd had when she collapsed in the parking garage.  At least this floor was clean.  Presumably.  
  
“I’m sorry,” Kunzite murmured, and she believed it.  In a day full of surprises, that might have topped the list.  “I pushed too hard.”  
  
"Shocker."  
  
He chuckled.  It was the first time she'd heard him laugh without irony, without bitterness.  He sounded like a completely different person, maybe even one she could learn to like.  “You know... I’m not good at being kind.”

Another day, and she might have said, 'Because you've tried so often,' or something else in that vein.  But it wasn't another day, so she kept quiet.

He sighed.  “I just… I don’t understand why you were so desperate.  You could have really hurt yourself, Minako.”  
  
He almost never said her name.  Maybe that's what softened her in the end.  
  
“I had to,” she murmured, slowly sitting up.  He reached out and laid a hand against her back to keep her from standing.  She stayed seated, but she needed to look at him for this.  And if he didn't move his hand, at least he was warm.  “I thought... Look, I didn’t even tell Artemis this, so maybe don't go advertising this, but I really thought that the reason no one came after me was because….”  Her eyes burned.  She let the tears fall and tried not to think of it as surrender.  “I almost quit.  I know you don't know that, because I made Usagi swear not to tell Mamoru, and I made sure she meant it.  A few weeks back, I just wanted so badly to be done.  None of the others have ever even considered that, and certainly not when we're in the middle of whatever this is, and then they were all talking about getting their pure hearts taken, and I'm sitting there wondering why I'm the only one who hasn't been shot at, when it occurs to me there's only one reason why they've left me alone, and that's it.  I wanted to quit.  Like an... I don't even know what.  Give me your best insult.  It'll be like mean Mad Libs.”  
  
He didn't say anything.  He just stared, shocked into silence for the second time that day.  She really is on the worst kind of roll.  
  
“You’re disappointed in me,” she sniffled. “God, why does that matter?”

And it did matter.  It shouldn't.  It had no reason to matter, but it did, and that was what set her off in her earnest.  The tears, which had almost seemed like an afterthought to trauma, turned into sobs she could not stifle.  Too loud, too messy, to real to bite down and twist into a smile.  Minako buried her face in her knees and wept, waiting for him to shake her or scold her or even hit her for being such a child.  
  
Instead, Kunzite drew her closer, wrapped his other arm around her shoulders, and held her.  She considered pushing him away, but in the end, she needed to be held more than she needed to keep her distance.  So she cried, and he held her, and they both pretended they were the sort of people who did this for each other because they both needed to do it now.  
  
When she finally quieted, all cried out for the moment, the sun had begun to go down.  Minako was about to open her mouth to ask if they others knew where they were, when Kunzite said, “You do realize that you’re blaming yourself just for being human.”  
  
“Not the same,” she sighed.  “None of the others wanted to quit."  
  
“I think they have,” Kunzite argued.  “I think you were the only one brave enough to say it.”  
  
“But I—"  
  
“You wouldn’t have."  
  
“How do you know?” she demanded, pulling away.  “How can you sit there and tell me what I would and wouldn’t do?”  
  
When he smiled at her, he looks painfully sad.  Her chest ached again, almost exactly like when Eudial had shot her in the back.  “Because we are so much alike, you and I.”  
  
"What?" she yelled, and if it came out something like a squawk, who could blame her.  "I have no idea what you're talking about."

He leaned against the wall, still wearing that painful smile.  "I loved Zoisite."

And people accused her of abrupt subject changes.  "I know."

"After he... After I... Once he was gone, it destroyed a part of me.  Like something shattered.  I still can't find all the pieces to begin putting them back together, if I even want to...." he trailed off, swallowing hard.  He'd seen her cry just moments ago, but she still glanced away.  She'd call it a kindness and maybe consider them even.  "Anyway.  I hated Beryl for taking him from me.  I hated all of you, too.  But in the end, I hated her just a little more, and I loved Zoisite more than I hated either of you.  I ran because I loved him, because he loved me, and because he wanted me to live.    
  
"Maybe you hate being a Senshi, risking your life and never having a normal life.  But I think you love your friends more."  He turned back to her, his eyes clear and somehow heavy with that clarity.  "Love made me run.  I think love will always make you stay."

Minako didn't know what to think about Kunzite's certainty in assessing the course of the rest of her life.  Her chest still hurt.  She wondered if it would always hurt when they spoke now.  “Why are you doing this?” she asked.  “Why are you acting like you care?”  
  
He didn't even blink. “Because you're important to me.”

Before she could answer, before she could even think of how to answer, he stood.  “It's late.  I’m going to get you some food, and when you feel up to it, I’ll take you home.  Drive, not teleport.  I can even wait until your mother sees me.  I'm sure her reaction will amuse you.”  Then he strode into the kitchen, silver hair glinting in the dusk.

Minako stared after him, not moving from the floor until he'd finished making some sort of stir fry for dinner.  They didn't speak much as they ate, sending messages to the others about where they'd gone and if she was all right.  Then, as promised, he drove her home.  Her mother wasn't there, but it might have been for the best.  Minako wasn't up to a fight.  Besides, she caught a few nosy neighbors peeking out of windows.  Minako's mother would no doubt hear about this tomorrow, which would give Minako enough time to recover and properly enjoy the apoplectic meltdown.

She was halfway out of the car when she said, "Thanks."

He arched an eyebrow.  "For making you pass out?"

"Let's be real: I was always going to pass out," she joked.

He frowned at her, and she laughed, and they were almost back to the status quo.

But not quite, which is why she finished, "For saying that stuff after I woke up.  The nice stuff.  You weren't completely horrible at it."  She sensed this was in danger of becoming too intense all over again, so she continued.  "I'd suggest you try it more often, you know practice at it, but it might throw the Earth's gravity out of alignment or something.  Or geese will fly backwards.  Usagi will meet a cake she doesn't want to eat in its entirety.  Something like that."

"Heaven forefend," he commented.  "Goodnight, Minako."

"'Night."

He waited until she got inside.  She waited at the window until he drove off.

And she wondered if this would be one more thing they never talked about.

**Author's Note:**

> I would like to receive some kind of credit for not making the Kunzite's apartment joke some variation on "50 Shades of Grey." Because I wanted to. Even though the joke is tired and this technically takes place in 1994. I still wanted to. But I didn't.
> 
> My telling you I didn't maybe negates any Good Place points I garnered with the first act, but still.
> 
> Anyway, this is a universe I'd love to play around with more some day, if only because I think Kunzite's running commentary on the break-up arc would be hilarious.


End file.
